








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 263 matches | ||
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5902 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6003 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1160 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 3083 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $605,845 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenith | 62% | 221 |
| #2 | π | 60% | 363 |
| #3 | Gentle Wife Beater | 58% | 197 |
| #4 | Oxyride | 58% | 128 |
| #5 | β πππππππ | 56% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π | 36 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Gentle Wife Beater | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Zenith | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Oxyride | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | β πππππππ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π | 2762 | 0.37 | 86 min |
| #2 | Spotify | 788 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #3 | α΅α΅Λ’α΅β±βΏΚΈ | 587 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | Gentle Wife Beater | 404 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | β πππππππ | 302 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenith | +3.97 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | Spotify | +2.83 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | AceYS | +2.47 | 89 | 57 |
| #4 | Clown | +2.06 | 78 | 47 |
| #5 | π | +1.78 | 84 | 84 |





