








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1896 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2274 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3937 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5634 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,638,859 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A_A | 77% | 44 |
| #2 | Ysh | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | PadPakBoong | 67% | 213 |
| #4 | FloatingSink | 65% | 69 |
| #5 | 𐂃 | 63% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ᵈᵉˢᵗⁱⁿʸ | 60% | 89 |
| #10 | Gentle Wife Beater | 59% | 39 |
| #11 | Spotify | 59% | 87 |
| #12 | Oxyride | 57% | 47 |
| #13 | AceYS | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clown | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | PadPakBoong | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Bot Bob | kickback.com | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | 𐂃 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Oxyride | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐂃 | 549 | 0.41 | 17 min |
| #2 | Spotify | 436 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | Clown | 361 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | PadPakBoong | 301 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | ᵈᵉˢᵗⁱⁿʸ | 294 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenith | +3.44 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | A_A | +2.57 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | AceYS | +2.55 | 89 | 56 |
| #4 | Spotify | +2.48 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | Ysh | +1.79 | 75 | 59 |





