








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1964 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1563 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1139 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1111 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,832 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuugi | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | jaLmaRi | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | Mitzu | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | Ras | 51% | 173 |
| #5 | Madness | 49% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mitzu | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | Ras | 51% | 173 |
| #5 | Madness | 49% | 89 |
| #6 | Hessu | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | J.J.K.P | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hessu | 19 | 0.0471 |
| #2 | nuugi | 16 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | J.J.K.P | 10 | 0.0212 |
| #4 | Ras | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Madness | 8 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ras | 520 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | jaLmaRi | 192 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Madness | 182 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | nuugi | 167 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | J.J.K.P | 123 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuugi | +4.20 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | Mitzu | +1.87 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | besu | +1.40 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Madness | +1.13 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | jaLmaRi | +0.78 | 66 | 61 |





