








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 448 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1019 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1126 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1097 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,155 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokelad | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | wUNDEER | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Kvarmen | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | Supergizmo | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | PAPA DODZ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokelad | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | wUNDEER | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Kvarmen | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | Supergizmo | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | PAPA DODZ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPA DODZ | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Kvarmen | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPA DODZ | 308 | 0.37 | 9 min |
| #2 | Kvarmen | 252 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jokelad | 119 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | wUNDEER | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Supergizmo | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wUNDEER | +3.96 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | Prima vareh' | +1.32 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | Supergizmo | +1.32 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Jokelad | +0.88 | 51 | 70 |
| #5 | PAPA DODZ | +0.52 | 57 | 77 |





