








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2747 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1735 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $207,927 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaiN | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | kazjo | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Duram | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | .lucas S<3 | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Hello | 54% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Papst Franziskus | 50% | 54 |
| #10 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | 49% | 95 |
| #11 | rezuni | 48% | 42 |
| #12 | DÜNNBRETTBOHRER | 44% | 16 |
| #13 | ChubaChupz | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello | 25 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | mariNus | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Skorpion ツ | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | .lucas S<3 | 4 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jawa 糧 | 434 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | 375 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hello | 229 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | mariNus | 212 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | rezuni | 168 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .lucas S<3 | +3.69 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | FaiN | +3.59 | 86 | 47 |
| #3 | Duram | +3.16 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | jawa 糧 | +2.67 | 88 | 77 |
| #5 | Hello | +1.79 | 75 | 61 |





