








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 390 | 28% |
| Smokes | 423 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 239 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,392 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 90 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Pancho_Villa | 51 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | monohaki | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | beLieve.! | 31 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | AR'kinG♛ | 29 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hfxits☬ | +5.02 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | dat | +3.07 | 68 | 86 |
| #3 | ☬ Isbit ☬ | +2.40 | 15 | 57 |
| #4 | sTeΛL.- ☬ | +1.90 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Pancho_Villa | +1.51 | 75 | 59 |





