








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1062 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 283 matches | ||
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6874 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4836 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3450 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3144 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,710,359 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4nChOx! | 77% | 43 |
| #2 | Alaric Dell | 76% | 62 |
| #3 | Sheng 罗盛荣 | 75% | 28 |
| #4 | Pancho_Villa ✯ | 74% | 43 |
| #5 | sTeΛL.- ☬ | 74% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbarcaUC | 537 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Alaric Dell | 350 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | Raiben | 330 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Massive[dp];* ™ | 317 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | sTeΛL.- ☬ | 273 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbarcaUC | +2.72 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Alaric Dell | +2.05 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | Pancho_Villa ✯ | +1.88 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | Massive[dp];* ™ | +1.54 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | F 1 s H 3 R ! ! | +1.11 | 67 | 54 |





