








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5789 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4818 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6254 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5063 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,867 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanquisher | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Yvng_Gunn | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | PiranhaPaul | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Mortem Angelus | 52% | 143 |
| #5 | borf | 51% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanquisher | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Yvng_Gunn | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | PiranhaPaul | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Mortem Angelus | 52% | 143 |
| #5 | borf | 51% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mortem Angelus | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | borf | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | PiranhaPaul | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Yvng_Gunn | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Vanquisher | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | borf | 104 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mortem Angelus | 80 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Yvng_Gunn | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | PiranhaPaul | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vanquisher | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanquisher | +3.82 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | Yvng_Gunn | +0.97 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | PiranhaPaul | +0.82 | 44 | 49 |
| #4 | Squilliam | +0.41 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Mortem Angelus | -0.19 | 59 | 49 |





