








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 895 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1263 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1872 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1120 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,201 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKoenigsegg | 49% | 126 |
| #2 | FGT | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 47% | 116 |
| #4 | NaylZ | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ioni6x | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FGT | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 47% | 116 |
| #4 | NaylZ | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ioni6x | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | derRaccooon | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | iKoenigsegg | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | derRaccooon | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | FGT | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | NaylZ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKoenigsegg | 180 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | derRaccooon | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | FGT | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | ioni6x | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | +3.40 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | iKoenigsegg | +0.22 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | NaylZ | -1.55 | 49 | 35 |
| #4 | Kollege Wanderschuh | -1.61 | 43 | 48 |
| #5 | FGT | -3.55 | 42 | 33 |





