








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
29 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 31 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 45 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,600 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKoenigsegg | 40% | 10 |
| #2 | [toilet] 2 | 36% | 11 |
| #3 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | derRaccooon | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKoenigsegg | 40% | 10 |
| #2 | [toilet] 2 | 36% | 11 |
| #3 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | derRaccooon | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | iKoenigsegg | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | derRaccooon | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #2 | iKoenigsegg | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | [toilet] 2 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | derRaccooon | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | +7.95 | 80 | 28 |
| #2 | iKoenigsegg | +1.71 | 58 | 42 |
| #3 | Kollege Wanderschuh | +0.82 | 34 | 27 |
| #4 | derRaccooon | -6.05 | 26 | 8 |
| #5 | ioni6x | -7.31 | 1 | 31 |





