








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1740 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1700 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2834 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1893 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,138 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | 49% | 126 |
| #2 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 46% | 186 |
| #3 | FGT | 40% | 67 |
| #4 | derRaccooon | 38% | 45 |
| #5 | NaylZ | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | 49% | 126 |
| #2 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 46% | 186 |
| #3 | FGT | 40% | 67 |
| #4 | derRaccooon | 38% | 45 |
| #5 | NaylZ | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | 23 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | FGT | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | derRaccooon | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | NaylZ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 255 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | [toilet] 2 | 134 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | derRaccooon | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | FGT | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | NaylZ | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | +3.51 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | iKoenigsegg | +1.23 | 58 | 57 |
| #3 | NaylZ | +0.41 | 47 | 27 |
| #4 | Kollege Wanderschuh | -1.41 | 40 | 48 |
| #5 | FGT | -3.50 | 41 | 27 |





