








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 8% |
| Smokes | 734 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1148 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 785 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,826 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASO | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | [toilet] 2 | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | NaylZ | 45% | 82 |
| #4 | Alabasta | 41% | 39 |
| #5 | iKoenigsegg | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKoenigsegg | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | NaylZ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | [toilet] 2 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Alabasta | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ASO | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iKoenigsegg | 120 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | NaylZ | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | [toilet] 2 | 25 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kollege Wanderschuh | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ASO | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [toilet] 2 | +3.52 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | iKoenigsegg | +1.82 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | NaylZ | +1.76 | 55 | 38 |
| #4 | ASO | +0.97 | 44 | 56 |
| #5 | Kollege Wanderschuh | +0.06 | 51 | 42 |





