








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1652 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Wingman | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5131 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3346 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5925 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5008 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,832,677 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^~^ | 53% | 83 |
| #2 | EikムyZ™ | 51% | 399 |
| #3 | Kurils | 51% | 171 |
| #4 | FlaaFlu | 49% | 258 |
| #5 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | 43% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | EikムyZ™ | 51% | 399 |
| #3 | Kurils | 51% | 171 |
| #4 | FlaaFlu | 49% | 258 |
| #5 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | 43% | 140 |
| #6 | Eeeeh | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlaaFlu | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | EikムyZ™ | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Kurils | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Eeeeh | 5 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EikムyZ™ | 1213 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | Kurils | 492 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | FlaaFlu | 349 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | 314 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | ^~^ | 110 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexti | +1.80 | 69 | 52 |
| #2 | Kurils | +1.04 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | EikムyZ™ | +0.63 | 36 | 66 |
| #4 | Eeeeh | -0.21 | 61 | 34 |
| #5 | FlaaFlu | -1.96 | 58 | 41 |





