








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1785 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2300 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2219 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2316 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,567 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^~^ | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | EikムyZ™ | 49% | 135 |
| #3 | Nexti | 49% | 258 |
| #4 | Eeeeh | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | TheLegend27 | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nexti | 49% | 258 |
| #4 | Eeeeh | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | TheLegend27 | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | 39% | 67 |
| #7 | Kurils | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexti | 18 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ^~^ | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | EikムyZ™ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Eeeeh | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexti | 471 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | EikムyZ™ | 400 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | 144 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kurils | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | TheLegend27 | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexti | +2.19 | 69 | 53 |
| #2 | EikムyZ™ | +1.62 | 38 | 67 |
| #3 | Kurils | +0.79 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | Eeeeh | -0.25 | 63 | 36 |
| #5 | Jansu ≽^-⩊-^≼ | -1.73 | 30 | 48 |





