








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1198 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1049 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,445 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigTimeSam ヅ | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Paavo | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | LEMON | 58% | 48 |
| #4 | Rumalapsi | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | WG | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wormi27z | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | mutsku | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | HcEDU | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | BigTimeSam ヅ | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | LEMON | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rajis | 118 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | wormi27z | 93 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | mutsku | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | LEMON | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | dodo | 78 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEMON | +4.85 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | HcEDU | +2.25 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | BigTimeSam ヅ | +2.09 | 50 | 40 |
| #4 | WG | +2.05 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | JUMALMOODICS | +1.32 | 75 | 53 |





