








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1307 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1885 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1092 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 887 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,500 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigTimeSam ヅ | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Zyrk | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Damien | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | RöökiKoala | 2 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | SoliDi | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyrk | 85 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | JUMALMOODICS | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Osmo | 77 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | BigTimeSam ヅ | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | SoliDi | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RöökiKoala | +6.56 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | Zyrk | +2.45 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Damien | +1.81 | 67 | 43 |
| #4 | JUMALMOODICS | +1.59 | 70 | 55 |
| #5 | Osmo | +0.48 | 66 | 70 |





