








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 216 | 36% |
| Smokes | 96 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 95 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 191 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,174 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAZAMBOM | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | mic4h | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | FoodPorn | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Poland Pole | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | leprechaunsoup | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | YAMI_SLICER | 40% | 48 |
| #10 | mole | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | GUH | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | Freak E. Cheese | 33% | 15 |
| #13 | ¼ | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magma | 11 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | YAMI_SLICER | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | El Creyente | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | mole | 6 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | GUH | 5 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mic4h | +5.45 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | Magma | +3.85 | 32 | 59 |
| #3 | SHAZAMBOM | +3.12 | 56 | 60 |
| #4 | ¼ | +0.70 | 51 | 38 |
| #5 | GUH | +0.68 | 42 | 53 |





