








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4261 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4955 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4218 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5475 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,935 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | Kinozel | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | KugelBlitZ | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Nítro | 51% | 124 |
| #5 | gob | 50% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | gob | 50% | 159 |
| #6 | Viridi | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | habZrd | 47% | 152 |
| #8 | Herobrine Overdose | 41% | 104 |
| #9 | August | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gob | 30 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Herobrine Overdose | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | habZrd | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Nítro | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Kinozel | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gob | 815 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | Nítro | 533 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Herobrine Overdose | 349 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Viridi | 158 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | habZrd | 137 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rei | +2.72 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | Kinozel | +2.07 | 80 | 39 |
| #3 | Nítro | +1.83 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | Herobrine Overdose | +1.13 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | Viridi | +0.06 | 61 | 55 |





