








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2490 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1312 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 533 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,986 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | rei | 55% | 80 |
| #7 | KugelBlitZ | 54% | 158 |
| #8 | Dark | 49% | 71 |
| #9 | Kalts | 48% | 40 |
| #10 | digital | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gob | 40 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | rei | 33 | 0.0211 |
| #3 | KugelBlitZ | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Dark | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | digital | 6 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gob | 450 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Skecchi | 265 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | rei | 201 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kalts | 179 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | s1zzle | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rei | +4.19 | 59 | 64 |
| #2 | Kinozel | +3.71 | 82 | 46 |
| #3 | Dark | +2.55 | 45 | 68 |
| #4 | KugelBlitZ | +1.39 | 82 | 38 |
| #5 | Kalts | +0.86 | 56 | 62 |





