








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 37% |
| Smokes | 479 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 390 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 80 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,019 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swshbclr | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | fake-nut baby | 29% | 14 |
| #3 | Bestie | 29% | 14 |
| #4 | Secret Albatross | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Lenard is Feces | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swshbclr | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | fake-nut baby | 29% | 14 |
| #3 | Bestie | 29% | 14 |
| #4 | Secret Albatross | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Lenard is Feces | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bestie | 4 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swshbclr | 7 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | fake-nut baby | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | Lenard is Feces | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bestie | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #5 | Secret Albatross | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Secret Albatross | +7.54 | 40 | 46 |
| #2 | swshbclr | +4.46 | 55 | 33 |
| #3 | Kennyw124 | -0.61 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | fake-nut baby | -1.81 | 50 | 30 |
| #5 | Lenard is Feces | -2.29 | 47 | 33 |





