








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 22% |
| Smokes | 403 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 348 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,273 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stiopasniper | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | KIng_ | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | stef | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | бабушка Аня | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | бабушка фрося | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | бабушка Аня | 4 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | бабушка фрося | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | KIng_ | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Stiopasniper | 2 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | stef | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stef | 130 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bohammer | 37 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #3 | бабушка фрося | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stiopasniper | 25 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | KIng_ | 15 | 0.04 | 1 min |





