








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 799 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10990 | 25% |
| Smokes | 13062 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8526 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 10963 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,144,050 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 897 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spUUUkz | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | 54% | 106 |
| #3 | Jakob Schwarz | 52% | 162 |
| #4 | jalapeno | 52% | 191 |
| #5 | LynxxxeD | 50% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob Schwarz | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | syck | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | spUUkz | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | jalapeno | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | LAPITER | 8 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spUUkz | 760 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #2 | LAPITER | 479 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | LynxxxeD | 446 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | syck | 344 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | jalapeno | 337 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slake | +2.85 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | low | +2.54 | 87 | 37 |
| #3 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | +2.35 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | spUUUkz | +2.28 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | spUUkz | +1.78 | 76 | 65 |





