








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2146 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1377 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2426 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1993 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,317,365 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | LynxxxeD | 52% | 75 |
| #3 | JESUSbx ਆਲੂ | 52% | 191 |
| #4 | gen | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | syck | 49% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spUUkz | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | JESUSbx ਆਲੂ | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Jakob Schwarz | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | syck | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | LynxxxeD | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JESUSbx ਆਲੂ | 811 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | spUUkz | 602 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | Jakob Schwarz | 279 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | LAPITER | 240 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | LynxxxeD | 206 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | +2.93 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | spUUkz | +1.22 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | CharlCyPep | +0.98 | 57 | 73 |
| #4 | jalapeno | +0.34 | 74 | 42 |
| #5 | Jakob Schwarz | +0.25 | 59 | 68 |





