








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1455 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10430 | 20% |
| Smokes | 18444 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 11102 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 10926 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,270,509 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | 56% | 102 |
| #2 | 909090 | 55% | 88 |
| #3 | fェ之ェk ツ | 53% | 101 |
| #4 | pr0°ChrexX | 51% | 127 |
| #5 | ShiN | 50% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | JESUSbx ਆਲੂ | 48% | 453 |
| #12 | jalapeno | 47% | 334 |
| #13 | gen | 46% | 136 |
| #14 | Slake | 46% | 91 |
| #15 | LAPITER | 44% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syck | 15 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | JESUSbx ਆਲੂ | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | LAPITER | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | jalapeno | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Jakob Schwarz | 10 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JESUSbx ਆਲੂ | 1579 | 0.16 | 44 min |
| #2 | jalapeno | 690 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | LAPITER | 670 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | syck | 548 | 0.05 | 14 min |
| #5 | LynxxxeD | 494 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slake | +3.22 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | +1.97 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | spUUkz | +1.58 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | 909090 | +0.82 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | fェ之ェk ツ | +0.75 | 48 | 46 |





