








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 834 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7754 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8944 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8599 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 11996 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,546,509 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 731 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origin_Føcus_WEED_LVL420 | 1245 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | CARBONE | 638 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | Abdel Bagarre | 455 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | Iron Man | 429 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | TardogLeVrai | 383 | 0.08 | 7 min |





