








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1309 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1336 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 820 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1037 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,595 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3aik | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | mikussi | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | barkovfanboy16 | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | pikkukala | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Calu | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | paukku | 41% | 85 |
| #7 | leiska57 | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | Pinkviini | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | PasiPeräkontti12 | 32% | 25 |
| #10 | SeinäHemuli | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikkukala | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | paukku | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | PasiPeräkontti12 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | leiska57 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paukku | 245 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Calu | 118 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | pikkukala | 73 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pinkviini | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | 3aik | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikussi | +2.60 | 75 | 82 |
| #2 | pikkukala | +1.09 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | paukku | +1.04 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | barkovfanboy16 | +0.77 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | ☣ Jαfin | -0.44 | 63 | 62 |





