








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2025 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2400 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1842 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1680 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $649,520 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1091 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paukku | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | heshu | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Calu | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | ☣ Jαfin | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | mikussi | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikkukala | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Jasku | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | iltsikka | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | heshu | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | ☣ Jαfin | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikkukala | 175 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jasku | 163 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | ☣ Jαfin | 104 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | paukku | 89 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | iltsikka | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paukku | +3.10 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | ClimaX | +2.52 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | mikussi | +2.16 | 88 | 79 |
| #4 | pikkukala | +1.47 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | ☣ Jαfin | +0.86 | 62 | 57 |





