








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1254 | 36% |
| Smokes | 835 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 678 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 669 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,003 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikkukala | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Pinkviini | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | 3aik | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | paukku | 48% | 64 |
| #5 | ☣ Jαfin | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paukku | 168 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | ☣ Jαfin | 136 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | pikkukala | 74 | 0.43 | 2 min |
| #4 | 3aik | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | PasiPeräkontti12 | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikkukala | +2.67 | 56 | 66 |
| #2 | paukku | +1.29 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | ☣ Jαfin | -0.57 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | 3aik | -0.60 | 55 | 36 |
| #5 | Calu | -0.90 | 73 | 60 |





