








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 314 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3204 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2590 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2109 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,985 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randillion | 84% | 19 |
| #2 | b4wked | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Cordae | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | IdekPanda | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | Solopoopie | 55% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | b4wked | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Cordae | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | IdekPanda | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | Solopoopie | 55% | 108 |
| #6 | Sammy | 55% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy | 36 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Solopoopie | 34 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | IdekPanda | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy | 250 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Solopoopie | 125 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cordae | 112 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Randillion | 65 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | b4wked | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b4wked | +7.52 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | Randillion | +6.37 | 97 | 74 |
| #3 | Sammy | +3.09 | 86 | 54 |
| #4 | Solopoopie | +2.06 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | Timmy | +1.96 | 69 | 74 |





