








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 906 | 24% |
| Smokes | 689 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1080 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,498 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jampetti | 46% | 28 |
| #2 | napostelen kakkaa | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | paskajaska | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Kieppi | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Curtis Love | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rapu | 40% | 94 |
| #9 | LP | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | JayLandslide | 33% | 54 |
| #11 | Faba | 33% | 46 |
| #12 | murhaaja-miikka | 31% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qhandi | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Rapu | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | JayLandslide | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Faba | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | murhaaja-miikka | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapu | 284 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Qhandi | 272 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | murhaaja-miikka | 264 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Faba | 170 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | JayLandslide | 124 | 0.11 | 3 min |





