








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3127 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4375 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2362 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2932 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,760 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rapu | 43% | 204 |
| #10 | murhaaja-miikka | 42% | 192 |
| #11 | Qhandi | 41% | 133 |
| #12 | emhi | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | SÄQ-polomna | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qhandi | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Rapu | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | murhaaja-miikka | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Curtis Love | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | jampetti | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murhaaja-miikka | 898 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | Rapu | 584 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Qhandi | 493 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | jampetti | 371 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Curtis Love | 332 | 0.10 | 8 min |





