








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3492 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2679 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2608 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1927 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,051,825 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Faba | 45% | 157 |
| #10 | JayLandslide | 44% | 80 |
| #11 | SÄQ-polomna | 41% | 29 |
| #12 | murhaaja-miikka | 41% | 259 |
| #13 | mestarionmestari | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapu | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Qhandi | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | jampetti | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | murhaaja-miikka | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Faba | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murhaaja-miikka | 1185 | 0.21 | 33 min |
| #2 | Qhandi | 820 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #3 | jampetti | 707 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #4 | Rapu | 643 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #5 | Faba | 496 | 0.15 | 15 min |





