








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1022 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1176 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 974 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1064 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,791 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mujahideen | 58% | 43 |
| #6 | ♰ ℮ki | 57% | 58 |
| #7 | b94K jugginbrixz | 55% | 22 |
| #8 | CA$HFLOW | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | EPAX | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♰ ℮ki | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | mujahideen | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | b94K jugginbrixz | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♰ ℮ki | 306 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | mujahideen | 88 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | b94K jugginbrixz | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr täti | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jason | 37 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kilppari | +2.89 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | gosutoraida | +2.39 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | Mr täti | +2.07 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | CA$HFLOW | +1.16 | 94 | 59 |
| #5 | mujahideen | +0.40 | 83 | 60 |





