








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 434 | 21% |
| Smokes | 430 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 696 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 493 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,808 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlluuX | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | ♰ ℮ki | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | kilppari | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | griffi1ths | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | pöhinä? pashux | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pöhinä? pashux | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | pass11ve | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | mashaXD | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Asterial | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | [JÄGERMEISTER] B4ByBoI:D | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pass11ve | 3 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | kilppari | 3 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | AlluuX | 3 | 0.0337 |
| #4 | pöhinä? pashux | 1 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | ♰ ℮ki | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [JÄGERMEISTER] B4ByBoI:D | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | kilppari | 39 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | mashaXD | 34 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | pöhinä? pashux | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♰ ℮ki | 33 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kilppari | +4.71 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | Asterial | +1.74 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | mashaXD | +1.41 | 86 | 67 |
| #4 | ♰ ℮ki | +0.41 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | pöhinä? pashux | -0.09 | 52 | 58 |





