








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 978 | 24% |
| Smokes | 979 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1041 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1018 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,293 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fälle | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | vAALtsu | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | Nepo | 54% | 95 |
| #4 | vti | 53% | 103 |
| #5 | compl1cated [ C ] ??? | 53% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | vAALtsu | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | Nepo | 54% | 95 |
| #4 | vti | 53% | 103 |
| #5 | compl1cated [ C ] ??? | 53% | 92 |
| #6 | Lerppunen | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vti | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Nepo | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | compl1cated [ C ] ??? | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | compl1cated [ C ] ??? | 389 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Nepo | 259 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | vAALtsu | 224 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | vti | 199 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Fälle | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | compl1cated [ C ] ??? | +1.60 | 84 | 75 |
| #2 | vAALtsu | +1.00 | 88 | 70 |
| #3 | Nepo | +0.66 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | 4x4 | +0.64 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | Fälle | +0.27 | 76 | 70 |





