








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1496 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1375 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1258 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1513 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,788 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigNutBuck | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Cammy | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | budcheeks | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Chills | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Deansturr | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | budcheeks | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Chills | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Deansturr | 46% | 79 |
| #6 | LUNGBUSTER3000 | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | Frankensack | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deansturr | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | BigNutBuck | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Chills | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Cammy | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | budcheeks | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deansturr | 185 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chills | 102 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Frankensack | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cammy | 28 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | BigNutBuck | 25 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cammy | +3.43 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Deansturr | +1.91 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | Chills | +0.84 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | teev- | +0.15 | 79 | 59 |
| #5 | BigNutBuck | -0.27 | 44 | 59 |





