








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3338 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3671 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3128 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3609 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,156 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Caleb | 47% | 47 |
| #8 | Lyfe | 46% | 70 |
| #9 | Frankensack | 42% | 36 |
| #10 | beyond | 37% | 19 |
| #11 | Peanut butter&Honey | 33% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deansturr | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | LUNGBUSTER3000 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | BigNutBuck | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Peanut butter&Honey | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Lyfe | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deansturr | 292 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lyfe | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | BigNutBuck | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Caleb | 114 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Peanut butter&Honey | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deansturr | +2.37 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | beyond | +1.15 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | Chills | +0.99 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | Caleb | +0.87 | 53 | 68 |
| #5 | ✪ locos | +0.72 | 70 | 56 |





