








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 32% |
| Smokes | 164 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 165 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 27 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,154 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | anomalouS | 0% | 2 |
| #15 | kaluhm | 0% | 2 |
| #16 | ͜ | 0% | 3 |
| #17 | awp god | 0% | 3 |
| #18 | wraith | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my poo smells like haribos | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | the_drip_chicken | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shindeiru デッド | 25 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #2 | JackHammer | 21 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | cwack addict >o< | 11 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | guccispeed | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | wraith | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shindeiru デッド | +11.22 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | ͜ | +5.06 | 69 | 6 |
| #3 | my poo smells like haribos | +4.50 | 81 | 18 |
| #4 | JackHammer | +3.54 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | JaCk0 | +2.81 | 63 | 23 |





