








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5377 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4305 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2998 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2518 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,105,480 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cock of this exact minute (NOW) | 191 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cabròn | 135 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | chukhna | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ DNS~ | 62 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Roskakone | 57 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chukhna | +3.63 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Cabròn | +3.53 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | ✪ DNS~ | +0.96 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | cock of this exact minute (NOW) | -0.08 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | CCiituri ☆ | -0.86 | 32 | 72 |





