








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 773 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4652 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2252 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1653 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2508 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,312,607 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le mon | 57% | 87 |
| #2 | real v1ltsu | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | cock of the year (back2back) | 50% | 179 |
| #4 | v1ltsu86 | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | kape | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dansku | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | le mon | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Kirsikkapommi 500 | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | cock of the year (back2back) | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | CCiituri ☆ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le mon | 239 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | cock of the year (back2back) | 221 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | dansku | 215 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | CCiituri ☆ | 209 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | v1ltsu86 | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le mon | +2.91 | 64 | 73 |
| #2 | real v1ltsu | +1.43 | 62 | 36 |
| #3 | dansku | +1.09 | 64 | 49 |
| #4 | cock of the year (back2back) | +0.83 | 63 | 45 |
| #5 | kape | +0.39 | 64 | 47 |





