








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4941 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3205 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3929 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3250 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,051,737 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oispa dippii | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Disguised Monkey | 52% | 109 |
| #3 | ✪ MustaFalcon | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | murmeli | 46% | 79 |
| #5 | Whistlin | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕋𝕦𝕜𝕤𝕦b | 20 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | ✪ Laisk4 | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Oispa dippii | 10 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | murmeli | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ✪ MustaFalcon | 7 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Laisk4 | 1248 | 0.38 | 41 min |
| #2 | Whistlin | 322 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #3 | Disguised Monkey | 272 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | 𝕋𝕦𝕜𝕤𝕦b | 258 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hasu | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ MustaFalcon | +4.50 | 75 | 53 |
| #2 | Whistlin | +3.96 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Hasu | +1.52 | 70 | 52 |
| #4 | Disguised Monkey | +1.32 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | Oispa dippii | +1.06 | 63 | 51 |





