








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 619 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1431 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2633 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1847 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3942 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,938 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tompaxxi | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | elPepe | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Vidalos22 | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | ✪ Laisk4 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Disguised Monkey | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Laisk4 | 608 | 0.42 | 20 min |
| #2 | tompaxxi | 244 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Whistlin | 179 | 0.37 | 5 min |
| #4 | Disguised Monkey | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | elPepe | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |





