










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2589 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4329 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4039 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3809 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,861 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunkersau | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Ohkakkje | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | wiPp | 51% | 105 |
| #4 | 05_spezi | 51% | 185 |
| #5 | wH1p | 46% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | wiPp | 51% | 105 |
| #4 | 05_spezi | 51% | 185 |
| #5 | wH1p | 46% | 254 |
| #6 | ZeRo | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiPp | 21 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | wH1p | 20 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | 05_spezi | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Bunkersau | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wH1p | 672 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | 05_spezi | 590 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | wiPp | 245 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 55 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bunkersau | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ohkakkje | +3.35 | 65 | 55 |
| #2 | wiPp | +2.91 | 49 | 67 |
| #3 | wH1p | +1.88 | 42 | 68 |
| #4 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | +1.13 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | Bunkersau | -0.62 | 50 | 53 |





