








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 970 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 559 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9701 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8160 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8898 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7001 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,078,785 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 49% | 425 |
| #2 | 05_spezi | 47% | 271 |
| #3 | DJH | 46% | 254 |
| #4 | qSTAR_™ | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | DR.Zoidberg | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 49% | 425 |
| #2 | 05_spezi | 47% | 271 |
| #3 | DJH | 46% | 254 |
| #4 | qSTAR_™ | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | DR.Zoidberg | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 05_spezi | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | DJH | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 05_spezi | 844 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 605 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #3 | DJH | 336 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | qSTAR_™ | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | DR.Zoidberg | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | +1.40 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | wH1p | +0.92 | 43 | 68 |
| #3 | qSTAR_™ | -0.46 | 44 | 76 |
| #4 | DR.Zoidberg | -1.06 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | 05_spezi | -1.67 | 32 | 66 |





