








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 429 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8287 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8974 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8703 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6348 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,757 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ohkakkje | 63% | 54 |
| #2 | cHe^ | 63% | 51 |
| #3 | o7 ツ | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | wiPp | 58% | 85 |
| #5 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 51% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DJH | 51% | 185 |
| #7 | Angela_Mehrkill | 50% | 169 |
| #8 | wH1p | 47% | 271 |
| #9 | qSTAR_™ | 41% | 75 |
| #10 | DR.Zoidberg | 40% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wH1p | 35 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Angela_Mehrkill | 31 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | wiPp | 17 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | o7 ツ | 10 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wH1p | 692 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Angela_Mehrkill | 350 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | DJH | 245 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | qSTAR_™ | 213 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | wiPp | 204 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cHe^ | +4.31 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | Ohkakkje | +2.62 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | o7 ツ | +2.52 | 49 | 66 |
| #4 | ★★★★ Nicer Dicer MAGIC CUBE | +2.45 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | wiPp | +2.09 | 47 | 68 |





