








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 972 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 450 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3833 | 14% |
| Smokes | 7021 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9569 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 7233 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,878,143 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2946 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | wH1p | 49% | 425 |
| #6 | mRo.# | 49% | 81 |
| #7 | wh1tey | 47% | 123 |
| #8 | Kuhla. | 46% | 50 |
| #9 | DJH | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wH1p | 978 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #2 | 05_spezi | 279 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | wh1tey | 205 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | mRo.# | 142 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | GSuS | 89 | 0.02 | 2 min |





