








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




437 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7448 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9893 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 3496 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,966,014 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Say Furry Gex | 44% | 209 |
| #8 | TRAM | 40% | 63 |
| #9 | Vitality Diamsmen | 39% | 160 |
| #10 | Princesse Lusmak | 38% | 69 |
| #11 | speuspeu | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splinter | 1299 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | Kza? | 592 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Say Furry Gex | 322 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | 🅲🆁🆈🆂🅸🆇 | 207 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Smoke Them All ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄ | 169 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkillfulFrog | +9.23 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | Kza? | +3.81 | 84 | 43 |
| #3 | 🅲🆁🆈🆂🅸🆇 | +0.14 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | Azoute | -0.75 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | Splinter | -2.17 | 48 | 47 |





