








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 524 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1603 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2066 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3551 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3801 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,063,706 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 434 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DIGGA | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | BRETT!!!Jok3r | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | TASER | 49% | 111 |
| #6 | Camzee | 48% | 63 |
| #7 | Morston | 46% | 74 |





