








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 498 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5602 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4342 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5946 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4761 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,078 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bizeps | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | DIGGA | 53% | 282 |
| #3 | BRETT!!!Jok3r | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | TASER | 51% | 448 |
| #5 | lena | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bizeps | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | DIGGA | 53% | 282 |
| #3 | BRETT!!!Jok3r | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | TASER | 51% | 448 |
| #5 | lena | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TASER | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | BRETT!!!Jok3r | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | DIGGA | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | lena | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Bizeps | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TASER | 573 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #2 | DIGGA | 514 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | BRETT!!!Jok3r | 196 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Bizeps | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | lena | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TASER | +1.10 | 64 | 60 |
| #2 | Morston | +0.58 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | Bizeps | -0.06 | 53 | 70 |
| #4 | DIGGA | -1.04 | 38 | 70 |
| #5 | lena | -1.23 | 51 | 34 |





