








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8689 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5106 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5308 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2713 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,112 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klets | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | TheSorcery | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Fevereagle | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Cat In Shoes | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | Wonderboy | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wonderboy | 53% | 38 |
| #6 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 52% | 63 |
| #7 | smokeytaCo | 50% | 314 |
| #8 | Osiris | 48% | 256 |
| #9 | Flatland | 45% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osiris | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | smokeytaCo | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Flatland | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Klets | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Wonderboy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smokeytaCo | 653 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | Haydnsmovingcastle | 386 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | Klets | 235 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Flatland | 180 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wonderboy | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haydnsmovingcastle | +3.22 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Fevereagle | +2.41 | 54 | 53 |
| #3 | TheSorcery | +1.50 | 59 | 20 |
| #4 | Cat In Shoes | +0.41 | 66 | 41 |
| #5 | Patler | +0.14 | 54 | 66 |





